Caregiver Stories (Part 1): What We Learn When Life Shifts

Caregiver Stories (Part 1): What We Learn When Life Shifts

Real stories from patients and caregivers reveal lessons about courage, resilience and finding meaning when life took an unexpected turn

Every day at SKH, we are inspired by our patients and caregivers who show us what true strength looks like.  We curated stories from patients and caregivers who were recognised at the SingHealth Inspirational Patient & Caregiver Awards 2025. Discover how they navigate their medical and caregiving journeys and find inspiration in their remarkable resilience and courage!  

Celebrating two amazing individuals who inspire us with their strength
and spirit at the Singapore Health Inspirational Patient & Caregiver Awards 2025

Lesson 1: Discovering the Courage to Let My Family Be My Guide 

Irene Lim: Former Beautician 

I was 26 when I left Ipoh, Malaysia, to work in Singapore. As I already had family and friends here, I did not hesitate to make the move, especially when I was offered my dream job as a beautician. Life was busy but fulfilling. 

The Day Everything Went Black 

In October 2023, I was getting ready for work when I developed a fever, stomachache, and felt lethargic. I visited the doctor twice, but my condition did not improve. During the second visit, the doctor advised me to seek urgent medical attention at the emergency department. 

However, just as I reached the hospital, my legs gave way and I lost consciousness.

A Wake-Up Call

When I woke up, I found myself in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). I later found out that I had septic shock - a severe infection had caused my blood pressure to drop dangerously low. To save my life, I underwent emergency surgery overnight to get the infection under control. 

Over the next few weeks, I underwent various tests and another surgery to identify the source of the infection. The doctors concluded that the septic shock could have originated from a bowel infection. Throughout this period, my family waited anxiously for me to get better. The doctors had even asked them to prepare for the worst due to the severity of my condition. It was a huge relief to everyone when my health improved rapidly after the second surgery. 

Making a Heartbreaking Decision

However, fate had other plans for me. The septic shock and heavy medications had resulted in complications that affected my limbs, which had turned numb and black. When my doctors broached the topic of amputation, my family was worried about my reaction as it meant giving up my career and passion. 

Even though it was a difficult decision to make, I eventually came to terms with the situation. My loved ones also shared with me positive stories of individuals who had thrived after amputation, which gave me the courage to move ahead with the surgery.

Relearning How to Live 

I underwent two operations to amputate my lower arms and my feet. After the anaesthetic wore off, the pain was unbearable. Thankfully, my family and friends stayed by my side, distracting me with their conversations and jokes. 

After my wounds healed, I was fitted with prostheses and started physiotherapy to relearn how to walk. As I regained my mobility, I slowly gain the confidence to venture out of my home. Despite drawing curious gazes, I enjoy having meals with my family at the nearby mall.

Fuelled by Love and Support

I now live with my mum, sister, and brother-in-law. While I try my best to learn how to use my new limbs, they continue to support me through daily challenges like opening containers and bottles. 

Fuelled by the love and support from my loved ones, I am determined to stay strong and live on. I hope to embark on my career once more – perhaps in a different field – and more importantly, live a life full of meaning and purpose.

Lesson 2: How 25 years of Caregiving Deepened Our Family Bond

Joyce Yap: Business Director

Medication names like Madopar, Alprazolam, and Memantine may be unfamiliar to many, but as a caregiver to my mother-in-law, these names have long become part of my daily vocabulary. 

I have lived with Mother since I got married 25 years ago. In 2015, we started noticing small changes in her movements. My children pointed out that she was walking with a ‘robotic’ gait. After several medical consultations, she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.

Tracking the Little Details

It was the beginning of a new chapter for our family. To better understand how the illness was affecting Mother, we started to keep records of her blood pressure, blood sugar levels, medications, dosages, and her responses to them. These logs helped the doctors to strike a fine balance with prescriptions between dosage and type of medications she was prescribed, and helped us manage her condition and make better decisions as a family.

Connecting in a Changing World

As time passed, Mother’s condition progressed into Parkinson’s Disease Dementia. Since then, she has retreated into a world of her own and often shows signs of being unaware of her surroundings.

Bouts of confusion, mood swings, and tantrums are the norm now as she navigates the confusion of her inner world. We started recording her mood and behaviour to better manage her care.

Keeping Memories Alive

After 25 years of living together, I have come to understand Mother's quirks, habits, likes, and dislikes. As a caregiver to a loved one living with dementia, I have learnt that creativity is incredibly useful in managing her requests which can be repetitive or simply unachievable.

Cooking was once Mother’s love language; she would prepare nourishing, home-cooked meals as her way of showing care for the family. As she retreats into her memories, she will sometimes request to cook again. I would explain that we have run out of gas and the delivery man would be here soon with the replacement canister – a common occurrence in those days before piped gas became a norm. other times, I would pass her cooking toys that I gathered from my colleagues and she would ‘cook’.

Why We Can’t Do It Alone

It is not always straightforward. There are times when nothing can appease her tantrums or discomfort, which can occur any time of the day. She would turn aggressive or even shout incessantly, sometimes for as long as an hour. Such moments can be draining and demoralising.

Caregiving is a team sport – my family members are all involved in Mother’s care and cover for each other, especially when one of us is nearing burnout. I am thankful that my husband’s siblings, along with their children, visit Mother weekly.

Mother is now at the stage of life where she needs us the most. It is our duty as her children to care for her to the best of our abilities.

Our patient stories continue in Part 2 of the Caregiver Stories series. We hear from Marsita and Zainab, two caregivers navigating high stakes of medical fragility and the limits of foster care. 

Stay tuned for Part 2 in our next issue of SKOOP!